MY STORY BEHIND DICE DIETING
How did I come up with Dice Dieting? I am an avid video gamer that plays a very old computer game that came out in 2001, it's called Diablo 2: Lord of Destruction. In the game you assign points to your character, such as stat points and skills points. This is all fine and dandy because those are under control. In fact in some MMORPG's, they do it for you, like in Diablo 3, but I digress. The one thing you do not have under control the items that drop. It is all based off of percentages. Diablo 2 LoD is a very old game, but after playing day in and day out the same game, you start to go crazy and apply chance and percentages and fractions to everything. Items that I want to drop did not drop when I killed monsters and bosses over and over again. I was preparing to upgrade for those items that, in multiplayer you could trade for, yet I didn't even have those items yet, and still currently, don't. Yes, single player is harder, and more miserable. Anyway what is the theory behind Dice Dieting? Well it's based on fractions, percentages or simply put, chance. Here is how it's done. When you do something for so long like playing a computer game such as D2 LoD, and you start thinking in terms of chances and percentages and fractions, it kind of seeps into everything else. And that is how I came up with Dice Dieting. I don't have an app on my phone. I don't even have a fancy phone. I could program a Java randomizer for my desktop, but I'm not a computer programmer or app maker. Besides, all you need is a randomizer program and some credits/tokens/counters/coins/what-have-you.
THE LOGIC BEHIND DICE DIETING
To practice Dice Dieting, you will need one die, because you are lame and the only way for you to lose weight is through chance and percentages that you are not responsible for. This Dice Dieting is not a joke. It actually works. It's for those who want to lose weight without fasting, in a safely controlled environment. Sure I've tried other diets, but I always yo-yo'ed and ended up heavier than before. Look, although Dice Dieting may seem like you eat more one day and eat less food another day, very sporadicly, in the end, if you theoretically got the average of you're daily intake of food, you'd get some percentage around 83.33% of the food you normally eat. Basically that is 5 divided by 6, also known as 5/6 the fraction, okay? Now, why 5/6? The reason is that, if you are trying to losing weight, you can just count out one small meal. How many calories is that one small meal? 325 calories. 325 calories times 6 meals is 1,950 calories, just under the 2,000 caloric recommended intake. 1,950 calories - 325 calories = 1,625 calories. Simply put, there is no fasting, just eating smaller meals, more frequently, and the cessation of eating food at around 6 o'clock. But that's okay because I'm sure you squeezed in 5-ish meals in there, out of 6. So at eating 375 calories less than 2,000 calories, how can you not lose weight. Also mind that I do not exercise. I live a sedentary life style. I don't work out or anything. But every morning for the last two days I lost .4 of a pound/day, or 40% of a pound according to my scale.
STOP BLAMING OTHERS AND START BLAMING DICE DIETING
This is for people like me, who cannot stand up for themselves. You want to lose weight but you don't have the discipline and you try to eat healthier foods. But this never works, and humans do not work that way. You know that. So why not leave your current weight loss plan open to chance or peer pressure, and instead of ending up blaming a Holiday Dinner or your family and friends and ending up blaming the Holiday feast or even worse, blaming yourself, it's better to blame the dice. day. Then when your friends and family pressure you to eat on the holidays, you can just blame it on the die because the die does not change its mind (the dice dictates whether and when and if you eat).
INSTRUCTIONS FOR DICE DIETING
Well we don't call it Dice Dieting for nothing, it's a game and it's very fun! It's called the Dice Dieting but I recommend that you can use two dice, one to roll, and the other to count your meals, and possibly 6 coins/tokens/counters/credits (if you only have one die, or if you want to reinforce your counting so you don't make a mistake and lose track of your credits) to, well, let me walk you through it. Try rolling a 6 sided die. If it lands on a six, you cannot eat on that roll, so you just lost a credit, of which you had six. Now you have 5 credits. You obviously are still hungry, so you decide to roll again. This time it lands on a number other than 6, thus you can eat again. Now do you see? Eventually you will run out of credits. Now how big of a meal allowed are you allowed to eat, and, how many? Well, a maximum of six, because 325 calories times 6 meals = 1950. Which the government recommends you eat six small meals a day, and please stop eating around dinner time. You make your own variations, like eating more or less caloric meals, or eating more or less meal credits a day.
DICE DIETING FOR LIFE!
I hope you had fun reading although I'm not a very good writer, and good luck, well you won't need it. Anyway, because this diet involves rapid weight loss, 40% of a pound a day, it is potentially dangerous and not for everyone. I am not a professional, a doctor, a dietician or physician. Please consult a physician before you go on this diet.